As I look back over my daughter’s 18 years, I realize that there has never been a time I have had to console her over the loss of a friend, nor have I known her to ever cry over the meanness or hatefulness of another. Instead, I have seen her angry over a friend’s actions whether it was intentional or unintentional. She has had many friends over her lifetime. Some have moved away and others have drifted away, but she has always been able to make new friends.
Now, she has embarked on a different kind of relationship. For the first time, she has met a special guy who she calls her boyfriend instead of the boy that’s a friend. I have been praying for someone special to come into her life who would look beyond her quirks that make her different and see them as a part of who she is. I want him to realize that those quirks make her stand out in a crowd and know that she will always surprise him with her observations and, quite possibly, her behavior.
Most of all, I want to protect her from the hurt of a relationship that may end prematurely (according to her) or the pain that may result from ending the relationship if it is not the one for her. I don’t want either of them to give up too soon or hold on too long. I want her to be happy but also to realize that good relationships are often hard work, and you only get out of a relationship what you put into it.
Right now, they are in the glory stage where everything is peaches and cream. But there will come a day when she will get mad and throw one of her Aspie fits. I am concerned about how he will react to it and how he will handle it. I hope he will see, as her family does, that it passes.
I hope my daughter finds happiness in marriage one day to someone who loves her for who she is and is willing to put forth the effort to truly understand and love the part of her that is often unlovable. I don’t know how long this guy will be a part of her life, but I know that he will be a better person for having known her.